


I Still Loved You, Today, Too.

by olivemeister



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: F/M, Fantasizing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemeister/pseuds/olivemeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into the life that Kisaragi Shintaro and Tateyama Ayano could have lived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Still Loved You, Today, Too.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: Potentially triggering material in this one. If you are triggered by discussion of suicide, this is your chance to turn back.

That smile was etched into a memory.

* * *

In the end, Ayano's stubbornness had held strong. Shintaro hadn't had much of an opinion either way, but his little sister had been trying her best to manipulate things to suit what _she_ thought was best. 

"It's much more modern to do it Western style!" Momo had said over and over, as if it mattered to her older brother. Ayano had been adamant that the ceremony be held at a shrine. Shintaro was happy enough to just have things the way they were. So in the end, it was up to him - the worst person to have made the final decision.

"Let's just do both."

The memory of fighting over it was the furthest thing from Shintaro's mind on that day, as he lost his breath for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. He had spent most of his adult life trying to stay out of the spotlight - having an idol for a little sister was more difficult than it seemed, especially when her popularity skyrocketed unexpectedly. The handful of reporters that made it in were, according to Momo herself, amazingly well-behaved compared to some she had seen. Maybe it was because she wasn't the star of this particular event. This wasn't about Momo. 

This was about Ayano, and something tightened in Shintaro's chest when he laid eyes on her.

* * *

 

"A... Ayano?" It had taken every once of courage in him to even speak, and he was terrified the moment she turned, shocked, and confirmed what he suspected. Shintaro didn't know how to deal with the sight of his overbearing classmate crying all alone in the empty room. She scrubbed at her face with both hands, trying to hide what they both knew he'd already seen. 

"I'm sorry, I'll go-" he started, only to freeze in his tracks when the unmistakable sound of a sob broke into the empty air. Shintaro didn't know how to deal with people. It was his worst trait - a total lack of desire for socialization had led to his entire school career being a solo affair. 

And then Ayano had come along. Boisterous and bright, and entirely too enthusiastic. He'd seen her as annoying and meddlesome, but despite himself he'd let her in. Like a virus, in a way, but the more time passed, the less he minded her. He had never realized how good it felt to smile until Ayano entered his life.

Now, he scorned himself for being so selfish. Because if he hadn't been so willing to give up on other people, he would have known what to do.

_"Did you hear? Tateyama-san's mother..."_

_"Oh no, poor Ayano-chan! And her father is-"_

_"Hospitalized, yeah... Doesn't that mean she's all alone taking care of her little siblings?"_

_"Can't we **do** something?"_

"Shintaro-kun, does it - " Ayano's voice was hoarse, and Shintarou realized with a sinking feeling that she must have been here, alone, for quite some time. "Does it get any easier?"

For a moment, he didn't know what she was asking. And then, he realized - back in elementary school, when his father had died in order to pull his daughter from the riptide.

Shintaro didn't think about how she knew his father was dead. 

"You learn how to cope," he mumbled weakly. It was a terrible answer for a terrible person. But Ayano looked at him, and for a moment, she smiled.

When her weight hit him, arms wrapping around his middle and a face still wet with tears pressed against the fabric of his shirt, it was more instinct than anything to hold her.

* * *

"Look at this one though! It looks like it's smiling!" Ayano beamed, pointing excitedly at the fish that flitted back and forth behind the glass. Despite himself, Shintaro grinned too. "See, you're having fun! Aren't you glad we came to the aquarium?"

A kind of stubbornness crossed over him at that, and the smile was quickly replaced by a scowl. In the end, he was too prideful to admit that he was enjoying himself. As always, though, Ayano read through it and ribbed him gently about it just enough to make him blush.

It was their first date of many.

* * *

Seeing her step out onto the weathered rock of the shrine, the light breeze lifting the veil on her face so that her smile shone out at him, Shintaro felt his breath catch. He was silently glad they'd agreed to a Western-style wedding in the end. It let him hold this moment in his mind, of Ayano standing radiantly in that white dress. It reminded him of why he was standing here.

One of Ayano's friends caught the bouquet - a flustered young woman with pigtails that looked to be the definition of tsundere. Her male companion remained amicably clueless to why she was so worked up. It was strange - she looked like Ene, enough that they could be sisters. But Momo was holding the phone where Ene's image flickered, and both girls were cheering energetically, and Momo had even gotten Konoha to wave. It was a big deal for someone as air-headed as he was, Shintaro supposed.

Ayano's own siblings were present as well, of course - Kano's grin as vague as ever, and Kido's typical stoicism broken with a soft smile for her beloved big sister. Seto had brought his elusive girlfriend Mary, who clung to him nervously. Somehow, she reminded Shintaro of himself - completely out of her element when surrounded by people. But, shy as she was, she had a kind of quiet bravery that he admired. Seto had been good for her, he thought.

More importantly, though, was his beaming bride, holding up a slice of cake with an insistent look in her eyes. 

They ended up sharing three huge slices between them, because she wouldn't stop feeding cake to him. Later that night, Shintaro would regret consuming that much sugar in one sitting, but Ayano's presence more than made up for it.

Somehow, he couldn't help but smile hopelessly at her, knowing that no matter what happened, he could treasure this moment for the rest of his life. Somehow, Shintaro knew that he was living in a moment of utter bliss.

For the first time in his life, his cheeks hurt from so many genuine smiles.

* * *

"Maaa! Ma!"

"Shintaro! Did you hear, she said Mama!" Ayano clapped her hands to her cheeks, overjoyed. The squirming infant burbled at her excitedly, picking up on her enthusiasm, and made another go at slurring out a coherent word.

Shintarou leaned back from his desktop, hitting a few keys before meeting the gaze of his slobbering offspring. "I think that was more like spitting up a little. It's too early to be getting anything like real words." His expression, though, was soft, and Ayano squealed triumphantly when a hesitant "Paw," made its way out of a tiny mouth.

* * *

 

A rotten boy of 18 smiled bitterly as he drove the scissors into his throat, and the heat haze laughed.

_It's all a lie._

**Author's Note:**

> Route XX - BAD END
> 
> "What did you think in those last moments?"


End file.
